Change Of Heart
by MosherGurl
Summary: She had intended to kill him, why couldn't she do it? Rated just in case.


I can't do it...I had wanted so desperately to get to this point, and now I have the opportunity...but I can't...I just _can't _kill him...

"Something wrong Alessa?"

I snapped my gaze to stare at the man who addressed me. That was the first time he used my name, proving my suspicion that he was aware of my identity all along. I'm such a fool... I took in his appearance, he looked so similar to... but they were so _different_. I clenched my jaw to prevent myself from scoffing and settled for a nod; turning my gaze away as he took a seat next to me.

"Well then; penny for your thoughts?"

I didn't look at him, I _couldn't_. Not to see his reaction to what I'm going to do. I reached into my baggy shirt and pulled out a black book before placing it on the table and sliding it away from me like it was plagued. Fully aware of the man next to me watching my every move. Fully aware that because of the 3rd Kira; _he knew what it was_. I sat back in my seat and stared hardly at my hands. Almost as if I blamed them for my actions.

"I was going to wait until you tried to write my name in your Death Note to convict you. And now your admitting defeat and giving up? That's not like you. So tell me; why the sudden change of heart?"

So he knew that I was going to kill him? No surprise; he's solved hundreds of cases before. Even when I was a mere child in Wammy's playing with dolls, he was out fighting crime. I sighed heavily; composing my thoughts.

"I don't want you to die."

"Is this because I look like him?"

I flinched lightly and finally turned to look at him; or rather above his head. His name and life span hovered there; _L Lawliet_. My gaze lowered to look him directly in the eyes. He wasn't wrong, he _did _look an awful lot like B... _Beyond Birthday_. I shook my head at him; no.

"It's not that. You both may look alike but you're both very different people. Total opposites even... All I did was blame you for him going insane. For killing those people, and for trying to commit suicide. And then you threw him in jail, just for him to be killed by Kira because you had to make his arrest public. Beyond was my best friend, and now I feel like I've betrayed him by not killing you. But I just _can't do it_."

L picked up the Death Note and looked behind me where Hebi; my Shinigami was standing. He had seen them before, so it wasn't a surprise his face remained neutral. He tore his eyes away and looked back to the Death note before he begun examining it;

"So what _did_ change your mind on killing me? Why seek revenge and then suddenly not want me to die?"

I shrugged, but I knew the answer. I just didn't want to say it. I truly would have betrayed Beyond if I admitted it; and I already feel like a failure. But I also feel good about doing this. Admitting to what I was trying to do and why I was going to do it.

"So what now? Am I going to prison, or getting a death sentence or what?"

I almost missed the small smile the detective pulled before he looked at me and turned the notebook around so I could see the first page of it.

"No; you came to your senses in the end and realized that murdering me isn't the answer. You knew that no matter what you did B would still be dead. And I know you've had this weapon for a long time; and you have failed to write a single name in it, despite having a lot of people to hate and it's temptations. You're not murderer material. So you're off the hook."

I blinked confused; I _wasn't _getting a punishment?

"Although...You clearly have some psychological issues, finding it hard to accept the death of your friend and having homicidal thoughts. So I must insist that you get a therapist of some kind."

He lowered the book and sighed slightly, turning away from me.

"But I don't exactly feel confident that you can amend yourself running free. If you suddenly change your mind then I'm as good as dead. So I must insist that you stay here with me so I can keep an eye on you 24/7... So I suppose that _I'll_ be your therapist."

Be with him and tell him my feelings and thoughts? Isn't that something _couples _did? Wait, is he smiling at me? _When did he touch my hand?! _I glanced down at his creamy white hand covering my own olive one before looking back up to meet his gaze with a smile of my own. Beyond always wanted me to be happy, and right now I am. He'd understand; _right_? I hoped so.

"Thank you L."

His grip on my hand tightened as I looked towards my Death Note; Kira had one of those, but I knew all it's tricks and had a Shinigami of my own... And now I'm going to help my _boyfriend _catch the son of a bitch.


End file.
